I can't watch pbs sober anymore
Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
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