I want to make a zoo with you.
Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
Randomize
