I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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