My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
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