i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
Randomize
