do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Randomize
