she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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