does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
