She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
