Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
Randomize
