We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
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