O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
The best revenge is premature balding
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
Randomize
