We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
I think a kid would responsible me up
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Randomize
