You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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