vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Randomize