"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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