Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Semen is not good for contacts.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
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