But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
with your own penis?
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
Randomize
