just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
50% drunk capacity currently
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
I enjoy the company of your penis
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