eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
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