And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
I seem to have left my pride at pride
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
Randomize
