I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize
