Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
please don't call me when you're wasted. i don't feel like having any other future arguments at 3:18am about how to hang up your phone. you have a flip phone, you should know regardless of how fucked up you are.
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
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