ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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