Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
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To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
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You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
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