I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
Randomize
