I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
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