are you still at the devil's house?
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Randomize