He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
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