I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
Randomize
