I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
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The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
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Everyone says I win the strip club
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
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