No, drunk sperm still make babies.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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