glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
Everclear isn't food dammit
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
Randomize