matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
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