It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
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