Well douche your snatch and let's go!
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
