real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
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