You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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