Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
23 Bisexuals Confess The Biggest Differences Between Dating People Of Each Sex
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
These 25 Ruthless Teachers Embarrassed Their Students
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.