Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
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I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
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We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.