you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
that's not how you spell hell yes.
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
These Dirty People Haven’t Told Their SO About Their Kinky Fetish
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
This is Why People Stop Sex Halfway Through
I will pee on everything he values.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?