Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
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