I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself