Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
21 Millennials Confess The Most Awkward Way Someone Has Tried Hitting On Them
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
25 People Confess The Most Ignorant Thing Someone Has Ever Said To Them
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.