Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
