Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
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