I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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