She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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