I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
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