Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
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