we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
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