they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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