I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
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