I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
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She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
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There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
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