Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Randomize
