Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
