Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
Randomize
