i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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