didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
we're chasing vodka with high fives
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
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