you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
Randomize
