She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
Randomize
