yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
I intend to get homeless drunk
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize
